From Lanae Rivers-Woods, Consultant:
Over the years, I’ve witnessed many companies and lives destroyed by life’s inevitable traumas and the shock waves that continue through the years. Sole proprietors are especially at risk of “losing it all” from the after effects of extreme stress, however, this doesn’t have to happen.
With a little organization and self-analysis, you can manage your company around these issues in a way that takes care of both you and your clients. You start by addressing the trauma head-on, accepting that it has changed you, addressing how it affects others around you and planning for these issues in the future.
Here is a basic framework for identifying the and working with trauma over time.
Know your trauma anniversaries
- Step 1: Create a list significant dates associated with sever trauma such as accidents, deaths, divorces, abuse, trials, violence, etc. If you don’t know the exact date do the research to find out when it was. Your subconscious remembers when things happen even if you don’t, so bring the important dates out of the dark.
- Step 2: Rate these dates 1-5. 1 being the least stressful and 5 being the most stressful. Take your time doing this. Consider not just what happened at that moment, but what else stemmed from the situation. Maybe the you had a car accident that hurt your neck, but the time off work caused you to lose your house. Which date do you really tie the stress too?
- Step 3: Assess your behavior surrounding every date with a level 5 trauma value next too it. During that time of year do you have trouble returning phone calls? Are you more likely to make rash decisions? Do you over schedule your clients? Have you fired someone every year on that date like clockwork?
Now that you know what times of year you will most likely operate with compromised decision making skills, it is time to plan for the event rather then pretend nothing will happen.
Plan ahead for your behavior
- Step 1: Share the list of dates with a level 5 response with key members of your staff and be open about what behavior they might expect surrounding said dates. Examples: “Next month will be difficult for me. I may have trouble sleeping and issues with decision making. I may need to take time off to avoid poor performance or ineffective management habits. I want to do what’s best for my employees and my company, and trying to pretending that I’m okay is not what’s best.” Ask for their ideas on ways to lighten your workload without overwhelming the staff.
- Step 2: Keep your scheduling light during level 5 trauma anniversaries. This is not the time to schedule big sales meetings, staff reviews or a big product launch. Pushing through these trauma anniversaries will only lead to poor, reflex decision-making that will damage your bottom line, just don’t do it. Plan ahead, be responsible.
- Step 3: Have a back-up plan and support system in place. If you suspect you may react more strongly to the anniversary due to such things as media coverage, unrelated exterior stress, or because the trauma happened recently, then pull in outside help. Create a system for temporarily managing your clients so you can meet their needs, while still meeting your own. If you need to, hire a temp or bring in help for that week only. Be clear about the situation and accept help in planning the best way to get through it.
- Step 4: Get back on the horse. Once the date has passed move quickly to return all systems to normal. This is the most important part, don’t prolong the process. Practice a quick and effect return to normal company behavior. It is important you demonstrate to both your clients and your staff that stepping back was a momentary move and not a permanent desire to do less.
When you model this behavior for your staff you will build the trust necessary for them to share the issues they struggle with and build a framework for your company to deal effectively with life’s trauma’s as they unfold in the future.
Throughout this process it is important to remember there is no shame in trauma and there is no shame is addressing how it has affected your life. It is a basic fact of the human experience and if addressed, it can be managed and addressed in a healthy productive way over time. You will also find that identifying these dates and your responses associated with them will lead to smoother transitions through them and eventually they may have no negative impact at all.
To learn more about the effects of trauma on the brain during trauma anniversaries I recommend the following two links:
http://dartcenter.org/content/self-study-unit-3-photography-trauma-3
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm